S01E02 - Hermes gives me a ring | Echobox Podcast Transcripts

INTRO: Echobox is a fictional retelling of ancient Greek myths. There are countless versions of these stories, with just as many cultural and linguistic nuances. For the sake of storytelling and adaptation, we’ve taken creative liberties and added our own flair to many of the stories. The stories and characters of Echobox are by no means the only versions nor should they be taken as the ‘correct’ ones. Neither should they be taken as an accurate representation of who these deities were and are to their worshippers. Thank you for your help in remaining respectful to deities and practitioners! Today’s episode features content warnings for mentions of alcohol. Now put some headphones on, sit back, and enjoy the divine drama of episode 2: Hermes gives me a ring.

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[MUSIC FADES IN]

[ECHOBOX INTRO PLAYS]

ECHO: Welcome to Echobox! First of all, I heard you, loud and clear. I got a new mic. I am aware that the sound is still not perfect. But listen. I don’t own a billionaire studio and I have to pay rent, so we’re just going to have to stick together through it, okay? Let’s get to what matters.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND]

ECHO [cont'd]: Well, people! I know I said I was getting you all started on the juicy gossip in this week's episode, but we've had a change of plans. Last week's episode blew up way more than I was expecting. Thanks for that! I guess there's more people than I thought eager to discover the scummy undercurrents of the industry. So here I am, minding my business and scrolling through my email a few days ago when I find a message from - drum roll please-

[ECHO DRUMS ON THE TABLE WITH HER HANDS]

ECHO [cont'd]: Olympus Records! That's right, we woke the beast itself. You know what they say. Snakes don't strike unless they're scared. And what did Olympus Records want with little old me? Well, you know, lots of big legal words thrown around. I would have just ignored the email, but I guess I really got them shaking, because they asked for a personal chat. And what kind of host would I be if I didn't take the opportunity to let one of the oh so scary Olympians on the show? Now, don't get too excited. It's only Hermes.

[SHORT PAUSE]

ECHO [cont'd]: I know, I know. The most boring out of the whole lot. And yes, that is including Rhadamanthus and his weird Mock Trial Youtube account. But beggars can't be choosers I guess and if we play our cards right, who knows? Maybe we'll get the big man himself on here someday. In the meantime... Let's have a little fun, right?

[ZOOM CALL SOUND]

HERMES: Hi! Am I speaking with... Echo? Is that what I should call you or is there maybe another name you go by?

ECHO [unamused]: Echo is fine.

HERMES: Okay. Echo it is then. Would you mind turning on your camera for me? That way we can have just a casual, personal chat between us.

ECHO: You must think I'm an idiot, don't you?

HERMES [nervous]: No! Um, no, of course not. Um, okay, no camera then. Cool. Right. Okay. So, um, I'm Hermes. Nice to meet you. I use he/him pronouns. What about you, Echo?

ECHO: I'm not your friend.

HERMES: I wasn't saying you were, I was just trying to – never mind. So, anyways, um, right to business, I guess. So, Olympus Records - who I will be referring to as "us" or "we" from here on out - got wind of Echobox - who we'll be referring to as "you", "the show", or "Echobox" from here on out - when it came out last week. Normally we don't follow every bit of press coverage that we or artists under our label get, because as such a large company, we would rather devote our time to doing what's best for our artists than following the media. However, the rapid popularity of your production alerted us and we decided that maybe we should give it a listen. So, uh, we did! We listened to the whole show a few times to make sure we got an accurate representation of what you said. We attached our personal transcript of the show to our first communication with you. Could you confirm that it's accurate?

ECHO: Can you just get on with it?

HERMES: Okay, well, um... For the sake of the conversation, we're going to take that as a yes. Now, here at Olympus Records, we love a diversity of opinions and we are always open to receiving feedback. However, we also take the physical, emotional, and psychological safety of our artists very seriously.

[ECHO LAUGHS]

[HERMES LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

HERMES [cont'd]: Anyways. So. Like I said, we take the safety of our artists very seriously and when slanderous media comes across our desk, we treat it with the utmost severity. Now, of course, we're not formally accusing you of defamation, we would just hate to see the show cross that line and unfortunately, we felt there were several moments in the first episode that came close. That's why we're reaching out today. As a professional courtesy, we'd like to ask that the show either come to a close or tread more carefully in the future, so that we can avoid any unpleasant legal ramifications.

ECHO: So tell me, Hermes, how many times did you rehearse that spiel in the mirror? And I'd love to know who wrote it! Because it definitely wasn't the boy who runs around getting coffee and sending memos because he wasn't smart or talented enough to help the family business any other way. Was it Hades and his team over in Legal? Did I really scare you all enough to get him involved? Or, oh! Was it Athena? Throwing in big words to scare people definitely seems like her.

[HERMES LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

HERMES: Echo, please, I– I really don't want this to turn into a fight. You seem nice enough, there's no reason for you to get caught up in some big legal battle with Olympus Records. You would never win. You know that right? We can't lose, Echo. It doesn't matter how much truth you sprinkle into your show or how many followers you get, you can't win. Please just let us help you. We'll make some tweaks to the pilot, discuss some ideas for how the next few episodes can go, and maybe you can take the following and shift to something else! I hear commentary channels are all the rage these days. Please. I don't want anything bad to happen to you.

ECHO: How much truth I sprinkle in, huh? So admit I'm telling the truth? I'm not turning my show into another obedient little spokesperson for you and your family. But thanks for calling! I'm sure my fans are just going to love hearing your threats.

HERMES: Wait. Echo, you're recording this? Echo... Please. Don't do this.

ECHO: Goodbye, Hermes.

[ZOOM END CALL SOUND]

ECHO: Well. You heard it here first, guys. The Olympians are shaking in their penthouses.

I’ll see you next week. This is Echo, logging off.

[ECHOBOX OUTRO PLAYS IN-UNIVERSE]

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[PHONE RING]

ALEX: Um...hello?

HERMES: Alex, I just got off the worst... worst fucking call of my life. I don't know if you saw my emails back and forth with Dad earlier this week about talking to whoever's running that new Echobox show?

ALEX: Oh. I must have missed those.

HERMES: It's fine. I know Dad keeps you on your toes. Anyway. Um, I dunno if you saw it. Hard not to with how Twitter was all over it, but there's this new podcast online? It's called Echobox and I dunno if it's some crazy fan who got tired of never being noticed at shows or some artist we didn't sign or... I dunno. But the whole show is about us. Us the Olympus family I mean. You know. Dad, Uncle Poseidon, Uncle Hades, the kids. They've got like... a vendetta or something.

ALEX: Ah. What a shame.

ALEX: Yeah. So Dad had me hop on a call with them today. You know. The usual when shit like this happens. Throw some legal words around, hope they back down, maybe offer some settlement or whatever. It, uh, let's just say it did not go well.

ALEX: Wouldn't just take the money and shut up?

HERMES: No! Wouldn’t even let me finish talking, just hung up after a bit. And worst of all, they were recs01e02-hermes-gives-me-a-ring-echobox-podcast-transcriptsording the whole time! I just... Fuck. Completely forgot to push for an NDA before and me and my big stupid mouth might have maybe possibly sort of said something implying that the things they said are true? And fuck, Alex, Dad's gonna kill me.

ALEX: Was there any particular reason you called me about it, Hermes? On a Sunday? If this Echo person didn't bow down to you, I doubt she'll do it for me.

HERMES: No, no, I wasn't gonna ask you to call them. I wouldn't do that to you. Seriously, they're vicious. Called me boring! I just... I know he's kind of a handful, but is there maybe anyway you can keep Dad busy the rest of the week? I dunno, maybe you can schedule in a few drinks with his buddies or lunch with his girlfriend or... I don't know, Alex. Just... Something so he doesn't have three hours free to tell me I'm his least favorite son or whatever?

ALEX: I'll see what I can do. No promises, though. You know Zeus.

HERMES: Oh yeah. I know. Thanks, Alex. I'm gonna go put out some more fires now. Maybe start planning my funeral. Bye!

[CALL ENDS]

ALEX [mumbling to self]: I swear, it's like none of these kids can do anything for themselves. Can't be bothered to talk to plebs like us if they're not asking for something. Let's take a look at this schedule... Hmm. Does Zeus really need to be there for the first half of Apollo's recording session? We all know he shows up three hours late and hungover anyway. And there we go. An entire morning with no appointments for Zeus tomorrow. Oops. Sucks to be Hermes, I guess.

[SHORT PAUSE]

ALEX [cont'd]: At least I got them rather scared.

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CREDITS

Echobox is written and produced by the Echobox Podcast Team. This episode stars, in order of appearance, Isabella Sales as Alex/Echo and Ron Guan as Hermes. It was written by Sebastián Ponsa Nazario. Audio and sound design by Corienne Swanson, Meg Mckellar and Marianna Marcon. Logo design by Lucas Eduardo Bueno and website by Andy Cerdan.

Transcripts for this episode and others can be found on our website by transcriber Maxwell Caetano. Our website also has additional in-universe content and ways to get in contact with us. Visit echoboxpod dot net or check the show notes for a link. Echobox is created out of love for storytelling and provided at no profit to us. Your feedback is our reward! Reach out on our website or find us as echoboxpod across social media. If you liked the episode, let us know and share with a friend! You can also leave us a review at Apple Podcasts. Thank you for listening. Until next time, dear listeners.